Well, I wrote this blog post on October 18th (day before we headed back home from Disney) and I’m just now getting around to posting….
I wonder if there will be a day that I wake up and I am not reminded my Reese McClain is different. If I stay at home all the time with Reese–I feel this could be achieved but not possible.
As everyone tells me how precious Reese is (that has no idea her circumstance) I tell myself: Reese is adorable–must be true because they have no idea anything is “different” with Reese.
Then there comes that time when you’re “reminded” in the airport with a girl the same age as Reese who is walking, talking and feeding herself grapes. So you’re sad, cry, pray and receive a new day, new grace from God.
Disney was fun but I was reminded often. Little feet walking, little ones responding and Reese sometimes responding. Those times she responded I will hold close to my heart and play them over and over as it keeps me alive. She laughed and laughed at the goofy bus driver as he welcomed us and told us the stops we would be making before getting to Old Key West Resort.
Then the grandparents take Reese and come back with a story: a woman asked how old Reese was…responding 15 months. She said, “I’m a speech therapist and thought she was delayed because she wasn’t holding her bottle” reminded once again. So, now I wonder do people say she is adorable because they realize she is delayed… feel sorry for a young couple with a special needs child…
I know I will not have an answer until I get to heaven–Why Reese. I do think Reese blesses me daily. Humbles me (The other night I broke down crying over a man who I did not even know his name but knew he had a serious health condition and had a hard life). She smiles and kicks her feet all the time. She doesn’t speak but I know what she wants how to take care of her needs. Psalms 25:9
It doesn’t stop a hurting heart but God does and will continue to provide comfort. I am so blessed to have so much encouragement and loving support BUT I still want to know why. Wouldn’t you? Imagine your child having a disability. How would you respond? What would you think? Would you think about their future?
As I write this post I’ve looked back on the facebook comments I received when I wrote about seeing the little girl at the airport. I appreciate the comforting/encouraging words. No one will understand/experience “your pain” in any situation. I’ve been told my situation could be worse. This is true but that comment had come from mothers of healthy children. I’ve been guilty of saying “that’s horrible situation for X” but unless you’re in the situation you do not experience the continuing heart ache.
I didn’t have a perfect life prior to the discovery of Reese’s genetic disorder but I did not long for Christ to come as I do today. l think thru this experience God has drawn me closer to him. How blessed I am for God to want me so close to him before his coming home! Come Almighty Father how I want to kiss your feet and hug/laugh like a child in your arms! Psalm 127:3
Hope you enjoy some snapshots from the Happiest Place on Earth!
Day 3 (Cousin Mason)
Mickey’s Not So Scary Halloween Party
Explains the sad face moments before arriving at the pool